Some Days, Africanness Feels Like a Cage. Some Days, It Feels Like Wings.
People tell you how to live, what to wear, who to be. Sometimes it feels like everyone has a rulebook for being African, and if you don’t follow it, you’re doing it wrong.
But here’s the thing, you don’t have to do it all. You don’t have to fit a mold that isn’t yours. You can take the things you love and leave the rest. Want to wear jeans and Ankara together? Go ahead. Prefer regular clothes instead of Ankara? That’s fine too. Want to listen to Afrobeats in one ear and pop in the other? Do it. Prefer wigs over your natural hair, or relaxing your hair instead of keeping it coarse? That’s your choice. Want to follow your own path even if it’s not “traditional”? That’s your choice. Want to follow African spirituality instead of common religion? That’s valid. Want to reject religious values and place your personal values above them? That’s your freedom.
Being African isn’t about checking boxes; it’s about freedom. About picking what makes sense for you, what feels good, what makes you proud. And the best part is that you can do it without guilt.
Making space for yourself
There will always be people with opinions. Family, friends, strangers, even social media telling you what you should do, how you should act, who you should be. Some days it’s heavy. Some days it feels exhausting. But choosing yourself doesn’t mean you’re rejecting your culture. It means you’re making space to live your life in a way that is true to you.
Authenticity is choosing what to keep and what to let go.
Your Africanness is in the little things, too
Being true to yourself as an African is in the little things, like cooking native dishes the way you like them, not the way everyone says they should be, wearing your hair how you want it, not because someone told you it’s “proper.”, It’s in speaking your mind, following your dreams, even when they’re not what people expect. Every choice like that is an act of freedom.
Africanness is Bigger Than Rules
Africanness is bigger than rules. It’s bigger than expectations. It’s in the music you love, the clothes you love to wear, the traditions you honor, and the new ones you create. It can be calm, messy, colorful, loud, soft, modern, and ancestral. Just like you.
Some days, it will still feel like a cage. But more often, it will feel like wings when you make space for yourself.